May 2018

and i am unemployed. it's a very strange feeling, i would say. To suddenly be unemployed after so long.
So, I had changed my job... I moved from a pretty stable job, I would say. Something, that if I had stayed, might have probably gone somewhere...? Promoted possibly? And I jumped. I jumped at a chance of working for a theatre company - with no prior experience ever. I went in extremely nervous, and I guess understandably so. It was tough. It's really hard going from a place where everybody was ready to lend a helping hand, to a place where everyone had their place and you were trying to fit in and get used to the place. So on April 4th, they told me that this wasn't working out. I had 1 month, and then I would leave.

I cried. I cried really hard. I left the office early that day, and I went to The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, and I cried. I cried everywhere. Wherever I walked, I cried. I'm barely 22 years old. To get retrenched, fired, let go, whatever you want to call it, is the most devastating feeling. I thought these things only happened to old people (or older people)! But i've always been a person who looked for the positives. And also, I surround myself with people who look for the positives. And looking on the bright side helped me get through that one month. I started making travel plans, I sounded out friends for jobs, I did whatever I could to think about my future.

I'm excited for the future, but today was my first official day as an unemployed bum. And I felt so lost. I already have things set in place for me, but the feeling of not going back there is strange and will definitely take some getting used to.

This is definitely a wake up call for me... Now, I get to take a break, chase my dreams and also actively chase God. Which I have been putting off for so long now, I felt that this is also God's way of telling me to go to Him again. It's really hard to constantly listen out for God's voice, but now, more than ever, do I need to do it.


Here's to a better 2018, may it only go uphill from now on.